I hate fucking christmas

- LISTENER SPKF: HEY**I SEE SPIDER JERUSALEM! - AS THE CITY PREPARES TO WIND DOWN FOR THE WINTER FESTIVALS, SPIDER, TELL US ** WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS?
- SPIDER JERUSALEM: PLANS?
- L: FOR THE WINTER?
- SPIDER JERUSALEM: NONE
- L: NO CHRISTMAS? NO HANUKKAH?
- SPIDER JERUSALEM: NO
- L: NO FESTIVAL OF WINTER HEARTS? NO WILD HUNT? NO THREE-NIGHTS-OF-HANDS-CLASPED-AGAINST-THE-COLD?
- SPIDER JERUSALEM: NO
- L: NO DRINK-MY-URINE DAY?
- SPIDER JERUSALEM: FUCK OFF. * NO FAMILY* NO GIRLFIREND* NO FRIENDS* NO LOVE * NO HOPE * NO POINT * AND SANTA CLAUS IS DEAD! I KILLED HIM! * I KILLED HIM WITH THIS * AND I LEFT HIS STINKING CORPSE IN AN UNDERGROUND CAVERN WHERE IT IS RAPED BY HUNDREDS OF TOXIC-EFFLUENT-CRAZED GILA MONSTERS EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY!!
- TV: SIX THOUSAND TRAUMATIZED CHILDREN TAKEN TO HOSPITAL AFTER JERUSALEM INTERVIEW – TV STATION CLAIMS FORCE MAJEURE – JERUSALEM´S EDITOR STILL UNAVAILABLE FOR COMMENT… * IN HAPPIER NEWS, DRINK-MY-URINE DAY ATTRACTED RECORD CROWDS THIS YEAR---